Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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