The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He shit in the fireplace
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
