Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
this beer tastes like vomit already
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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