Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
