EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
