Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So squirting runs in the family.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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