Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
