Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
smell my finger.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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