Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
