PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
