Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
