this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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