all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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