Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Which ones?

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  (484): What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips? (610): Which ones? http://tfl.nu/2pkr
  Replies (20) Good night (2916) Bad night (623)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers

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  (757): my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers http://tfl.nu/1x7e
  Replies (24) Good night (722) Bad night (5562)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.

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  (215): I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume. http://tfl.nu/pw0v
  Replies (19) Good night (1308) Bad night (3860)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete

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  (717): just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete http://tfl.nu/yzxp
  Replies (28) Good night (4602) Bad night (1834)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.

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  (641): since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing. http://tfl.nu/ihpp
  Replies (10) Good night (6751) Bad night (1710)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

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  (405): Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine. http://tfl.nu/l1h6
  Replies (25) Good night (6711) Bad night (1691)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind

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  (803): I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind http://tfl.nu/dnl0
  Replies (11) Good night (3721) Bad night (800)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today

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  (847): The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today http://tfl.nu/8pjx
  Replies (7) Good night (2737) Bad night (943)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country

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  (603): went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country http://tfl.nu/gkag
  Replies (8) Good night (5090) Bad night (887)
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  (274): View more from Wisconsin

  Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place

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  (274): Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place http://tfl.nu/ignd
  Replies (9) Good night (1714) Bad night (472)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me

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  (443): She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me http://tfl.nu/42gf
  Replies (3) Good night (1153) Bad night (551)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?

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  (630): I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up? http://tfl.nu/45h3
  Replies (1) Good night (237) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.

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  (949): It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants. http://tfl.nu/9y1w
  Replies (5) Good night (302) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.

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  (443): Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls. http://tfl.nu/mn9e
  Replies (1) Good night (330) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?

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  (773): My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean? http://tfl.nu/y06u
  Replies (4) Good night (709) Bad night (254)

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