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• (512): View more from Texas

  Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"

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• (917): View more from New York City

  "it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.

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  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

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• (310): View more from California

  You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is

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