i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
