so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.