she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
I can't put those talents on a resume
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.