the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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