Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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