saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
