At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize