got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
