I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
