I have demons in me.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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