Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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