You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Rumble strips road head = magical
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
