I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
