So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He has the fingertips of a God
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