if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
