my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
