Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
