just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
