Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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