i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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