Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
