dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
