i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
