Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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