She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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