I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
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Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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