My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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