She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
