Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
