Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
