I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
