After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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