so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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