It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
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Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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