why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
