Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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