i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize