I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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