I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
