i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
