you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
