Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
