If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
