I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
