you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
