Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
