He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
As shirtless as possible
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
