On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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