did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
