i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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