are you still at the devil's house?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
