the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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